ComcastifyJS

With all this internet going around, sometimes you just want to experience the thrill of a long page load. Give your users the chance to enjoy a little slice of the future by slow loading your website's images with ComcastifyJS!

Just a side note: We're hiring devs!

Lets slow things down!

1. Include comcastify.js on your page or use the latest version from our CDN:

   <script src="http://code.onion.com/comcastify.js"></script>

2. Prepare the images on your page on document ready (so images don't show up before the box):

   comcastifyjs.letsPrepareTheseImages();

3. Initialize comcastify on window load, something like this (so image sizes are properly calculated):

   window.onload = comcastifyjs.fixMyImagesLoadingSoFast({
     boxColor: '#123456',
     loadMaxPercent: 0.75,
     loadSpeed: 100,
     loadIncrement: 5
   });

4. Switch up parameters to change your experience:
   • elements list of DOM elements to limit comcastification to.
   • boxColor Hex color for the box placed over images.
   • loadMaxPercent Max percentage of image to load.
   • loadSpeed Speed to load your images to their max in ms.
   • randLoadIncrement Set to true to make load increment random, loadIncrement ignored in this case.
   • loadIncrement Number of pixels to load each time the loadSpeed timer ticks.
   • randomPause Probability of skipping a pass each time the loadSpeed timer ticks.

See it in action!

Enjoy the slowness of the load! (hint: you might want to reload the page)

Here's the code running this thing:

$(document).ready(function () {
  comcastifyjs.letsPrepareTheseImages();
});

$(window).load(function () {
  comcastifyjs.fixMyImagesLoadingSoFast({
    loadMaxPercent: 0.75,
    loadSpeed: 1000,
    loadIncrement: 5,
    boxColor: '#ece4d8'
  })();
});

That's it!

Now grab a coffee and enjoy the load times!